Who Saw THAT Coming?!

Last night's episode of Downton Abbey left us gasping aloud in a series of rapid successions. First, "Turkish Delight" Kemal Pamuk (played by Theo James) enters the scene on horseback, a perfect, almost-comical hybrid of pretty boy-gentility and sex god hottitude. Like the normally tough-to-impress Lady Mary Crawley, we marveled at the Eastern Adonis, even when he arrived back at the stately residence spattered with mud from the fox hunt. "All we want are baths," Mary insisted, which immediately conjured up images of the olive-skinned diplomat languishing naked in a clawfoot tub filled with steaming, hot....(but we digress.)

Cut to that evening when he manages to steal away with Mary in the library and back her up against the wall with his none-too-subtle advances. Shocked and flustered by his impropriety, she hastily puts him in his place and storms out of the room in a huff...but clearly he had left an impression because....

....later that night, he barges into her boudoir — OMG — and professes his desire to de-virginize her! Again she is shocked and horrified and hides her state of deshabille with her pillow until his smoldering eyes and heartfelt pleas convince her to yield. "Oh all right go ahead," she basically tells him..."Is it safe?"

...Uh, apparently not. We are pretty much in a tizzy at this point, so you can imagine the shock when Mary later wakes up her ladies' maid in a desperate whisper to tell her that the chap is stone cold dead in her bed! Surely, the sexual naif was merely confused about the Turk's post-coital state, but uh....right she is — the dude's dead!

Better wake your mom, maid Anna advises. The three of them manage to hoist the dead body back down the hall to his room in the dark of night, with only scullery maid Daisy happening to see them en route. "You are a disgrace, young lady, and I can't believe what you put me through tonight," (adlibbing for Mama Cora.) "Let's not tell your father, shall we?"

Scandal-licious!!!!!!! Who knew the no-name farmer with dropsy of the heart would end up surviving in this episode while the sultan of sexiness would kick it?

Will eyewitness Daisy blab to her not-so-secret crush, the not-to-be-trusted Thomas? Or will the bitter and malicious Gwyn put two-and-two together to stir up trouble for the noble family? Stay tuned!